Success is a journey

A friend of mine, iceroll i shall name him, for that is what he is called in the land of bits and bytes, used to always tell me whenever I seemed in a hurry "apa yang ko dapat kalau takat kejar beberapa saat?" (loosely translated, it would sound something like this: "why the rush? what do you hope to achieve with the few seconds you gain?". I'd always agree and think "he's right" and slow down, and take my time. It may sound like laziness or procrastination, but today, at the Masjid Jamek Putra/Star interchange, I think I saw something that put real meaning to his advice.
There I was, just got off of the Putra LRT, heading for the escalator upwards to get to the STAR LRT station. I stick to the left side of the escalator, because that's where you're supposed to stand to allow people who are in a rush to pass by on the right. So I'm observing these people, all oblivious to what's going on around them, focused instead on blazing up the escalator and seemingly intent on making it on time for a train they don't even know is there yet. Maybe that's what the rat race is; scurrying about trying to make it in time for some business meeting or whatever.

Anyway, I'm just taking my own sweet time, watching these people some of whom are starting to sweat from all the running around. It's only 8.30 and already they're sweating. I'm already late (work starts at 8.30) but I don't fret it. The worst that can happen is that the bosses see me as inefficient and tardy that they'll fire me. It's not like it's the end of the world as we know it. So as I step off the escalator, I light up a cigarrette and head to the STAR LRT station (it's only a few steps away, but I figure I'll walk slowly so I can finish up half the ciggie).

My cancer stick is halfway through, so I throw it away and go straight for the ticket counter, get myself a ticket, and start another excalator trip up to the STAR platform. When I get to the top, lo and behold! it's the very same people who ran past me on the escalator in the Putra station, waiting for the very same train that I was gonna be waiting for. Now, why were they running again in the first place? Oh yeah, so they could get to the train in time. But wait, I'm here, I seem to be in time for the train? What gives? Amusing isn't it?

I think I've seen this more than once with people driving cars. You know, you're driving and there's this guy in front of you doing something like 90 maybe 100 km/h and you think "damn, this motherfucker is sooooo slow. I'm gonna just overtake him and get where I want to go faster." So you do. You get on the fast lane and speed up, leaving said motherfucker in the dust. But a couple kilometres down the road, there's a traffic light that turns red. So you slow down and stop. You're waiting for the light to turn green and you notice something in your rearview mirror. It's that slow motherfucker. He's just taking his time, and just as he draws nearer to you, the light turns green, and the motherfucker doesn't even have to stop. You're just getting into first gear, and this motherfucker is alread ahead of you. Makes you think doesn't it. I bet it's happened to you a couple of times too, huh?

I guess the lesson is that maybe we shouldn't be in a hurry all the time. Take your time, soak in life. Enjoy it. Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running. Don't go chasing trains you don't even know are there.

Karma Chameleon

I'm a shapeshifter. A chameleon.

My friend noticed me looking at a reflection of his monitor today. I was checking out his screen, seeing what he was up to. I've been doing that for a while, just a quick glance at the reflection, see what's going on. Today; busted.

So I was thinking about that, my stealing glances at his monitor. I wondered to myself why I did that. For some people it might be just curiosity. As for myself, I think there's a few other ingredients mixed in there. At first I figured it's because I'm a chameleon, checking out what my colleague is doing and do that; if he's working, then I should work, if he slacks off, I slack off. A karma chameleon, changing my mood and personality according to the mood and characteristics of the people around me. I've been a karma chameleon for as long as I can remember. Even my friends notice that I can be different people around different crowds. They've even said to me "We don't know you. We don't really know who you are. Who are you?". I don't know really. Maybe I'm just being myself, but we all know that's like saying a cat is being feline; that's what it's supposed to be.

Thing is, as I'm writing this thing, I start to wonder, is that really the reason why I was doing it? Because I'm trying to assess the overall atmosphere and adapt my lazy ass to it? I suppose that might be part of the reason, since that is after all human nature, or at least that's what this doctor thinks.

I think I care too much about what people will think about me, about whether they may see my actions as fit or acceptable. I care too much that people should accept me into their lives that I forget to live mine. Or do I? Abrupt end.